So I followed JJ's link to the homophobic fruit bat and found:
I find myself unable to even leave the house anymore without worrying about what in tarnation we are going to encounter.
Someone actually talks that way.
Just for the sake of context:
Bart: [incredulous] Barbershop? That ain't been popular since aught six, dagnab it.
Homer: [reproachfully] Bart, what did I tell you?
Bart: [abashed] No talking like a grizzled 1890s prospector...consarn it.
(Anyone finds this on YouTube, email me.)